After you go away to school, the house you grew up in is no longer "your house." If you move back in, you're "living with your parents." They've taken over, and it'll never be the same. First of all, they've started having sex again: smelly, awkward, abundantly hairy sex--and probably on your bed. But that's only the beginning. I've pinpointed exactly when and where it becomes.. "Your Parents' House:"Š
The Bathroom
The wooden poodle with its head and paws peeking over the edge of the quaint wicker magazine rack has witnessed the first changes. Your Maxim subscription and your dad's "hidden" Playboys are gone, and in their stead? Country Living and The AARP Magazine.
The Living Room
Hey Maaaa? Where'd my DVD's go?Oh, you gave them awa--?You thought I took all the ones I like to school with m--?All you have is Under the Tuscan Sun and Sister Act Tw--?On VHS. Thanks Mom.Š
The Hall Closet
Hey at least she kept your old varsity jacket--sweet! The downside?Well shit, everyone gets a wrestling letter after four years of flopping around the JV mats, fish.Š
Aaah, the old Bedroom
Where aaaall the magic happened.. like the first time you dry-humped your girlfriend when your mom finally let you close the door on "Movie Friday." �nd then you creamed your pants and she cried and had her dad come pick her up.Well that wasn't very magical at all..
Anyway, it's a good thing you cleaned out your sock drawer before Mom found that box of condoms (as if you'd make it that far, Quick Draw McGraw). Now it's just filled with tube socks and tighty-off-whiteys. And a huge bag of.. what the fuck?
shhh your father's right downstairs!
Mom is this yours? What's it doing in my
I had to hide it here. Your father came home early and almost caught me toking in the garage..
Jesus Mom, Dad said he'd cut me off if I got caught again.. I've been clean for 4 years! ..Mom did you sell my DVDs??
Shut up, he's coming!
What's going on up here, you guys. Is that
Jesse! How could you, after all we've done for you?? (I owe ya one, honey, *wink*)
Dad, I swear, this isn't what it looks like.
OUT OF MY HOUSE! DID YOU THINK I WAS JOKING? GET OUT! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOUR MOTHER IS CRYING FOR CHRISSAKE!
Dad I think she's laughing
Just take your queer-ass wrestling jacket and get out. And TAKE YOUR FILTHY MAGAZINES WITH YOU!! (I'll explain later, I owe ya one, *wink*)
The Bathroom
The wooden poodle with its head and paws peeking over the edge of the quaint wicker magazine rack has witnessed the first changes. Your Maxim subscription and your dad's "hidden" Playboys are gone, and in their stead? Country Living and The AARP Magazine.
The Living Room
Hey Maaaa? Where'd my DVD's go?Oh, you gave them awa--?You thought I took all the ones I like to school with m--?All you have is Under the Tuscan Sun and Sister Act Tw--?On VHS. Thanks Mom.Š
The Hall Closet
Hey at least she kept your old varsity jacket--sweet! The downside?Well shit, everyone gets a wrestling letter after four years of flopping around the JV mats, fish.Š
Aaah, the old Bedroom
Where aaaall the magic happened.. like the first time you dry-humped your girlfriend when your mom finally let you close the door on "Movie Friday." �nd then you creamed your pants and she cried and had her dad come pick her up.Well that wasn't very magical at all..
Anyway, it's a good thing you cleaned out your sock drawer before Mom found that box of condoms (as if you'd make it that far, Quick Draw McGraw). Now it's just filled with tube socks and tighty-off-whiteys. And a huge bag of.. what the fuck?
shhh your father's right downstairs!
Mom is this yours? What's it doing in my
I had to hide it here. Your father came home early and almost caught me toking in the garage..
Jesus Mom, Dad said he'd cut me off if I got caught again.. I've been clean for 4 years! ..Mom did you sell my DVDs??
Shut up, he's coming!
What's going on up here, you guys. Is that
Jesse! How could you, after all we've done for you?? (I owe ya one, honey, *wink*)
Dad, I swear, this isn't what it looks like.
OUT OF MY HOUSE! DID YOU THINK I WAS JOKING? GET OUT! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOUR MOTHER IS CRYING FOR CHRISSAKE!
Dad I think she's laughing
Just take your queer-ass wrestling jacket and get out. And TAKE YOUR FILTHY MAGAZINES WITH YOU!! (I'll explain later, I owe ya one, *wink*)
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